• Mark Allen

Haiku submitted:/one hundred seventy-six./What a treasure trove.

Below are 176 entries into the National Grammar Day Tweeted Haiku Contest. Look through them and you will see how difficult it was to pick a few winners. If you think the judges erred, please use the comments section to call out your favorites.

Thanks to all who entered.

@veloquence: Indecisive two / Typo or short ellipses? / Worst grammar pet peeve.

@scottdhoople: an insight in sight / two prophets see prophecies / to profits seize

@danielgerling: “Lia: wire papa.”// No em dash? Oh, sad me! On// a paper I wail.

@DailyEngHelp: A living language / Ever changing lexicon / English is global.

@LindaDawnStone: “Alot” for “a lot”/ “Loosing” for “losing”: are these/ Just cause to un-friend?

@db_stewart: Each comma, is a/punctuation teardrop, thus,/my thoughts, are wrinkled.

@newyearsbabie: It pains me to read, after I submit my post, my grammar errors.

@bornponrivulets: on her breast I lay, never come the waking light, lie content to breathe.

@LindaDawnStone: You don’t understand/ Your grammatical errors/ Cause physical pain.

@PurplePenning: You could NOT care less. / “Just semantics” makes no sense. / Meaning is meaning.

@bornponrivulets: look on falling snow, roof knows not where ground begins, all is forgotten.

@kerry_mckinnon: He wrote with tamed tongue /His participles well-placed/ Dangle they did not.

@RobinL130: Between you and I / Theirs to many people who / Fuss about grammer.

@db_stewart: To the park I walk / my unruly syntax so / it can wag the dog.

@CCCopyEditor: I love that my kids / can use the subjunctive mood. / They’re future word nerds.

@CCCopyEditor: Laurie Anderson / says language is a virus. / Then I’m infected.

@PurplePenning: With bowl, spoon, and milk, / I like to add a little / serial comma.

@PFSPublishing: Exclamation mark / punctuate thoughts of horror, / “Conversate, a word!”

@decalino: Language changes; rules / evolve. Accept singular / “they”, gender unknown.

@PurplePenning: Editing, writing, / speaking, thinking, daydreaming / — grammar informs all.

@K_to_the_ukla: Your superscription/undulating curvaceous/ I love you tilde/

@WendyMackall: Editors rejoice//when all subjects and all verbs//can at last agree

@aubergineword: Period space space./That’s the way we learned to write./You only need one.

@p0sterchild65: Large words can be fun/But Proper context is key/When writing essays

@TheCinemaGirl: Language flows freely; | diagramming arrests me | with a harsh sentence.

@ProofingSandy: There is much joy as / they’re boldly marching forth with / their linguistic love.

@aubergineword: The parenthesis/Held a secret, whispered truth./Unclosed, it told all.

@EricaHamling: Learn the difference, between there, theirs and they are, it is grammar day

@PurplePenning: Intransitive hope, / hoping without an object, / cannot live. ~Coleridge

@micheledagle: CMS, AP / MLA, CSE, too / There’s a style for all.

@cmb63: A wealth of commas, A run on sentence for you, Where’s the period?

@K_to_the_ukla: The semicolon/ first used in fifteen ninety-one/ you shall top my list/

@kmrq32: Man, so many rules/Than or then, their is not they’re/Grammar is endless

@lightningvsbug: No one excuses / poor adding, subtracting, but / bad grammar passes?

@crgn: If you have written / too many words for the space / we will be careful

@RMTranslations: I have a master’s / But I received an M.A. / Do I get an A?

@judyhoracek: Words in their right place/ all meanings clear, tense as a /verb, not a feeling

@spamless: A grammar flasher: / I run naked through the crowd, / dangling compulsion.

@bryanthuber: independent clause/ semi-colon goes right here/ independent clause

@judyhoracek: Oh grammar, grammar/ grammar day – you give us all/ a great game to play

@p0sterchild65: Large words can be fun/But Proper context is key/When writing essays

@RMTranslations: Stretched out on the bed / She told a whopping falsehood / The lying liar

@johnemcintyre: Treat your editor / like an old friend you count on / to tell you the truth.

@shugus: Poems can break rules/But grammar is best when true/Use spell-check, at least.

@K_to_the_ukla: Haiku contest tweet/ for National Grammar Day/ punctuation? Yes.

@danielgerling: “We do grammar–Go!”// All its sides reversed is still// “O grammar god; ew!”

@RMTranslations: The students wondered / Should they have used past perfect? / Stupid verb tenses

@shugus: Do you speak English/or something disguised as it?/Grammar matters, kids.

@mikeatonjr: In posterity / All will split infinitives / It will still be wrong

@PurplePenning: Ideas carved in words / pine for full understanding, / ache for form — grammar.

@PurplePenning: Haiku need not toss / grammar’s sense-making beauty. / Neither must text-speak.

@CCCopyEditor: Conjunction junction / What’s your function? TV shorts / Taught me my grammar.

@CCCopyEditor: I must surrender / To the High Gods of Grammar / Even when online.

@CCCopyEditor: An editor’s angst: / Change the author’s words, or not? / Only if broken.

@gerrrib: Monkeys, HULK and Girl / give usage commentary / by tweeting grammar

@CCCopyEditor: Awesome adjectives / The perfect preposition / Loving the language.

@WilliamReagan: Possessive ends “S”\ apostrophe looks nervous \ unsure where to stand

@christinatsuei: i.e. or e.g.?/”that is” or “for example”!/some latin debunked

@ReadingLisa: You think that you snuck//But I can see that you sneaked//And that is a bust

@larry_kunz: No further ado: / Knowing when to use “farther” / takes talent and skill.

@word_czar: Apostrophe? No. // Possessive, not contraction. // Its ain’t it’s, is it?

@johnemcintyre: A world disordered / needs a means to set things right: / the Oxford comma.

@arikaokrent: Each writer who writes/ he/she should stand up and fight/ for singular “they.”

@word_czar: False series vex me; // dangling modifiers, too. // Where is my red pen?

@StanCarey: My word, your syntax / stirs my imperative mood: / Let’s coordinate.

@DailyEngHelp: Their, There, They’re, Your You’re / It’s good grammar at its best / Use them correctly.

@word_czar: I, he, they, and who // lack an “m”; one letter ties // me, him, them, and whom.

@4ndyman: If you’ve much to say, / A well-placed semicolon / Can save your big but.

@gerrrib: Grammarian split / descriptive or prescriptive / can’t we get along

@CCCopyEditor: Is grammar static? / Verily I say to thee: Nay! / Language is living.

@CCCopyEditor: multifarious / grammar forms proliferate / on teh interwebz

@arikaokrent: What fun would it be?/The irregardlesslessness/of a perfect world?

@CCCopyEditor: language is useful / for much much more than talking / about tiger blood

@arikaokrent: Serial commas/tiny poison-tipped curved darts/in the style-guide wars

@FroshEngpd2: It affected me, In such an effective way, I was infected

@FroshEngpd2: FANBOYS are useful, For And Nor But Or Yet So, They can join subjects

@FroshEngpd2: It’s not every day/that I wear everyday clothes/ There are some exceptions.

@FroshEngpd2: Haiku’s are the best/Simple yet so meaningful/Only if they were longer

@FroshEngpd2: I enjoy CD’s/I adore apostrophes/I hate acronyms

@FroshEngpd2: O my apostrophe/Stop being used so wrong/For this angers me

@FroshEngpd2: I assume you know/ presuming is based on fact/not the other way

@FroshEngpd2: Grammar is quite plain/Disinterested party /Uninteresting

@NathalieJCaron: Split infinitive / to never such a thing do / Disruptive of flow

@Orbspiders: Clear thought, unclear words / A wonderful idea / Hidden by errors

@madbeyond: for grammarians / clarity’s a just desert / and no calories!

@word_czar: Noun-verb agreement / seems such a simple concept, / but I guess it aren’t.

@lieslw: Serial comma, / how I do love thee: so clear, / distinct, and precise. /

@GordinaryWords: While linguists describe, / Grammarians prescribe. Truce! / Let’s all hug this out.

@a_cloud_of_doom: The slow fall of seasons/ As winter springs toward summer/ is times ellipsis…

@sandrajapandra: In general or / something specific? Can’t tell; / the article’s wrong.

@GordinaryWords: Language must evolve, / But words coined in ignorance / I refudiate.

@maltessagomez: Semicolon is the most seductive; it is always blinking and I can’t help it

@lavagal: Were we to write words/ With Strunk and White, Little Brown/ We would write well, right.

@diedofennui: Copy editor / peevologist, spell-checker / let’s work together.

@johnemcintyre: We grammarians / polish pebbles on the shore / of language’s sea.

@scottdhoople: the apostrophe / looks like a comma up high / and both are misused

@GinaBainesH: Serial comma/To be clear and consistent/Read lists easily

@WilliamReagan: “your so dumb,” he wrote \ replied, “Do you mean ‘you’re dumb’?” \ “No, I mean YOU are.”

@johnemcintyre: Damnable peeving — / let the prepositions stand / at sentences’ end

@CCCopyEditor: Kids don’t know grammar/ And yet children can still speak / And write correctly.

@LiteralMinded: Abominations / Of yesterday turn into / Today’s grammar rules.

@MichelleMeunier: Grammar is so cool. It doesn’t take much to learn. Learning it is cake.

@tac11tac: My High School Days were / Grammatically incorrect / Now I see the light.

@DavidWarr: If you use colour/ wonderful patterns emerge/ visual grammar

@gerrrib: A wise ruler knows / dangling modifiers can / confuse the subjects

@Frackalack: upon reflection / starting with prepositions / is no more taboo

@johnemcintyre: Any fool can make / a rule and every fool / will mind it. Thoreau

@kerjsmit: Poor apostrophe— / its wings pinioned with each sign / composed by a dunce.

@Wordlily: Clarity, Claire, is / good grammar’s good goal. To wit: / Communication.

@Wordlily: Grammar Day’s my fave, / but vitriolic rep can / overstrike the aims.

@trevorgourley: Your doing it wrong. You’re grammar needs improvement, Witch is plane to see.

@GordinaryWords: Your “words,” when “ensnared” / By “random” “quotation marks,” / Don’t “mean” what you “think.”

@MacDictionary: Blink blinked sink sank think / thought drink drank shrink shrunk link linked. / Irregular. / Most.

@MacDictionary: No progressive form / for stative verbs? MacDonald’s / disbelievin’ it!

@ESLgurus: Don’t be tense today/Today is past, now, future/What did/will you do?

@jmjdelaney: I is before E/ Forfeit their weird feisty feigns/ Seize neither leisure

@GordinaryWords: Resourceful f-word / Creeps in through most parts of speech / ‘Cept at the Oscars.

@gerrrib: Must be parallel / wording, writing, editing / symmetry at work

@madbeyond: Words are discrete waves / And language is a vast sea / Grammar is a ship

@Fritinancy: Now I lay me down / To contemplate the horror / Of “lay” used for “lie.”

@johnemcintyre: If you verb some nouns / and also noun a few verbs, / English will survive.

@scottdhoople: attain clarity / use this time-honored technique / sentence diagram

@scottdhoople: the chalkboard recalled / teaching technique now unused / sentence diagram

@WilliamReagan: “Call Jill or myself” \ so if Jill is out today \ I just call myself?

@tbschlaf: “Bold” indeed to go / where no infinitive should / thanks a lot, Star Trek.

@zongrik: the declination ~ of adjectives makes language ~ kaleidoscopic

@InVinceWil: Running gerunds, verbs / turn stone-cold nouns, periods / spill into commas

@GordinaryWords: Spell-checkers won’t catch / You’re mistaken homophones / Scattered hear and their.

@janflora: Ellipses leave space/ Connecting words together/ Not just dot, dot, dot…

@huler: i don’t mind it much/ that you keep correcting me/ but you’re always wrong.

@KatieCoops: Prepositions in/ middle school classrooms often/ go out the window.

@Jenro93: Sometimes wrongs DO make/ a right–just ask “snuck,” who sneaked/ into acceptance.

@jyuter: Due to budget cuts / statements will now be split by / A semi colon

@GordinaryWords: Can Canucks take part / In National Grammar Day? / Grant us this favo(u)r!

@GordinaryWords: Adverbs, when misused, / Wander in search of meaning. / Hopefully, yours don’t.

@shireeheath: … unbound exposed free -/ imagine no word order/ a Yoda-esque dream

@BugsDodger: everyday I / sees you every damn day / let me be special

@Jenro93: Preposition placed/ at sentence end–a faux-pas/ I won’t put up with.

@Jenro93: Finished reading three/ informative articles./My favorite–“THE.”

@Jenro93: Alliteration/ a lyrical lullaby/ in lovely language

@Jenro93: “Seems I have misplaced/ my modifiers,” thought Word/ dangling elsewehere, lost,

@awakebutasleep: Rules are to be broken/in grammar, in life/exceptions are the rule

@scottdhoople: choosing who or whom / subjective or objective / makes the decision

@opheliacat: If subject and verb/don’t agree in a sentence/the universe weeps

@GordinaryWords: Why we need hyphens: / Good-grammar haiku aren’t all / Good grammar haiku

@madbeyond: dangling from the ledge / the city looked beautiful / if ever misplaced

@pfoinkle: participles dangle / adverbs split infinitives / blue pencils break

@_andrewjones_: Why do we allow / The grammatically wrong / with “Who To Follow”?

@underoak: My participle/Your pluperfect subjunctive/Perfect together.

@Jenro93: indiscriminate/ shifts in tense befuddle and/distracted readers

@Jenro93: the irony of/ poor grammar in a grammar/haiku delights i

@shireeheath: … every glossy page/ heavy with structure defiled -/ subscription wasted

@KathyPea: Apostrophe s / maybe s apostrophe? / stick to singular

@KathyPea: Ending a sentence/With a preposition is/So not where it’s at

@NoelProbert: don’t be bound by rules, always strive for clarity, omit needless words

@merchantkrystle: The best agreement / is one that occurs between / a subject and verb

@PamelaBwell: To make adjectives: hypenate a string of words, place before the noun

@duvallspx: Split infinitives / participles dangling / who cares on twitter?

@Eatbiztutor: : Interrupting clause / needs a set of commas / makes reading easy.

@abitofmybrain: Awards in grammar / Hemingway not invited / step outside the box

@Eatbiztutor: Comma Splices can / Interrupt otherwise good/ sentences. Use dots.

@AdirondackMetal: Forms of verb “to be”/ am is are was were been be/ I am what I am

@NoelProbert: poor semicolon, so often used in error, Vonnegut hates you

@cvasilevski: Commas, oh commas! / They have so many uses. / Be careful with them!

@NoelProbert: The Oxford comma, useful for making a list, it’s got its own song.

@woletrap: how do i spell it? // how do i say it? oh no! // floating like a rock. –

@sanderling12: Conversation–word/ Conversate (fuss-trated sigh)/ Supposebly not

@abitofmybrain: Nation of grammar? / Would you like fries with that sir? / Set higher standards.

@johnemcintyre: Tired grammarian / longs for the lagniappe of toil: / bourbon on the rocks.

@johnemcintyre: Editor finds this: / “survivors of fatal crash” / zombies, we presume.

@johnemcintyre: Erasmus said God / can tolerate bad grammar / but does not love it.

@sanderson: Indifferent clods — / all their misused theirs, theres, whoms…. / And linguists? We’re “prudes.”

@johnemcintyre: They have wisdom who / understand, respect, and use / the semicolon.

@AllenStairs: He eats, shoots and leaves / that vicious panda bear with / his wrongful commas

@AllenStairs: Split infinitives / to boldly go where pedants / fear to send their pens

@JonMwords: #GrammarDay has come. / Put down your phones, everyone. / Time to learn to spell.

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