ACES 2014 National Grammar Day Tweeted Haiku Contest entries

Mark Allen
Mar 3, 2014
14 min read

Here are the entries in the National Grammar Day Tweeted Haiku contest. If you don’t see your entry here, be assured it was considered if it had the hashtag #grammarday, but cutting and pasting is imperfect. Let us know and we’ll add it. Most of the entries also can be found on the Storify page here: http://storify.com/copyeditors/aces-national-grammar-day-tweeted-haiku-contest @MiltownBucky One tiny mistake,Published where no one will see?Wrong! Thousands of comments.#grammarday #seewhatIdidthere — Mandi Lindner (@MandiMLindner) March 3, 2014

Oxford’s weather showsThe loveliness of damp prose:Comma-splattered lines.#grammarday — Tina Ray (@raytinamu) March 3, 2014

Awl of my tweets ourFilled with grammatical airLet’s keep it that weigh#grammarday #haiku — William (@MiltownBucky) March 3, 2014

I can’t punctuate. My mind’s filled with tales. An editor saves. #grammarday #haikuchallenge — Shawn Jones (@CaptainDucttape) March 3, 2014

Punctuation predicate & subject a simple sentence #grammarday #haiku — Eric C Poncho (@MdrnPetroglyphs) March 3, 2014

Adjectives Adverbs Magical descriptive words metaphor builders #grammarday #haiku — Eric C Poncho (@MdrnPetroglyphs) March 3, 2014

Punctuation predicate & subject a simple sentence #grammarday #haiku — Eric C Poncho (@MdrnPetroglyphs) March 3, 2014

You made a mistake in your tweet about grammar. Is that irony? #grammarday #haiku — Jill Golden (@_goldengrams) March 3, 2014

Contractions endure as they did in a bygone year — your you’re of yore. #grammarday — John Hausman (@JohnSHausman) March 3, 2014

Sociolinguist Deep In wild wordy woods of Decay and rebirth #grammarday #haiku — Robert Keim (@RobKeim) March 3, 2014

spel cheks dont matter 4get da rulz of grammar one forty spaces #grammarday #haiku — Eric C Poncho (@MdrnPetroglyphs) March 3, 2014

Everybody knows the pronoun is singular but they just don’t care. #grammarday — Ray Vallese (@RayVallese) March 3, 2014

Infinitive split / Some doubt ‘to’ is part of you / Sometimes you are bare #GrammarDay — Agnieszka Karch (@5minutelanguage) March 3, 2014

Oxford comma you see / before ‘and’ to well / meaning gauge, and be clear #GrammarDay — Agnieszka Karch (@5minutelanguage) March 3, 2014

#GrammarDay haikus must follow the rules, or else— “too long, didn’t read.” — Jill Golden (@_goldengrams) March 3, 2014

Sentences and me: we don’t mind getting complex, but don’t make us run. #grammarday #haiku — Holly Ashworth (@ActuallyHolly) March 3, 2014

Oh semicolon\You are so the Jar Jar Binks\ of punctuation. #grammarday — Rachel Menard (@MissusM) March 3, 2014

#grammarday That “word” ANYWAYS should not end with that damn ‘S’. The plural’s in ANY !! — Mark Hanson (@MHanson62) March 3, 2014

This is just to say I have truncated the verse That you were probab #grammarday — Ranjit Bhatnagar (@ranjit) March 3, 2014

PEOPLE CAN DEBATE OXFORD COMMA, BUT HULK KNOW AP STYLE RULES! #GRAMMARDAY #HAIKU #HULKU — AP STYLE HULK (@APSTYLEHULK) March 3, 2014

In honor of #grammarday, here is my traditional Japanese haiku: rain drops drip / dots on the window pane: / punctuation — Michelle Corbin (@michellecorbin) March 3, 2014

WORDS AND HULKS CHANGE FORM TO EXPRESS TENSE, MOOD AND VOICE! WHEN WORDS CRASH, HULK SMASH! #GRAMMARDAY #HAIKU #HULKU — AP STYLE HULK (@APSTYLEHULK) March 3, 2014

Writing the haiku / the dangling participle / sits there awkwardly #GrammarDay #Haiku (Retweet) — William Reagan (@WilliamReagan) March 3, 2014

Readers stayed away. Did your headline have a verb? I didn’t think so. #grammarday — Chris Smith (@cswriter) March 3, 2014

#grammarday #haiku grammar conundrum / people learn half-truths as facts / then insist they’re done — William Reagan (@WilliamReagan) March 3, 2014

I’m deeply jealous. The copy editors are meeting in Vegas. http://t.co/bXz7uBKqwX #GrammarDay — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) March 3, 2014

love the ellipsis the period’s too final noncommittal end… #grammarday — sarah lockhart long (@iamsarahbeth) March 3, 2014

Ed felt tense when he thought of words he can’t finish— he knew his limits. #grammarday — Jill Golden (@_goldengrams) March 3, 2014

A superhero called Ed can transport most words from present to past. #grammarday — Jill Golden (@_goldengrams) March 3, 2014

Ah, “were” versus “was” When to use the subjunctive? Hypotheticals #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

You can’t be alright / no matter how great things are / all right? All is right. #grammarday — Kathleen Bethell (@katbethell) March 3, 2014

There it sits in doubt Upon the edge it dangles A modifier -Because what is a dangling modifier if not grammatical suicide? #GrammarDay — Robyn Roopchan (@RobynRoopchan) March 3, 2014

what happens to word selected by a head in DGs? It depends! #grammarday — Zac Smith (@ZacTheLinguist) March 3, 2014

I have a grievance / I yearn for fewer crows here / and for them, less food. #grammarday — Kathleen Bethell (@katbethell) March 3, 2014

Writer, don’t stet me Your ego gets in the way Let’s work together #grammarday #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

Whom shall I follow? To whom shall I reply? Who is calling me? #grammarday — Kathleen Bethell (@katbethell) March 3, 2014

Autocorrect I snot your friend. Embrace meant soon follows. #grammarday — Jennifer Leung (@jleung10) March 3, 2014

Correct their grammar? Some verbatim written quotes Still make me feel sic. #grammarday — Chris Smith (@cswriter) March 3, 2014

The semi-colon / Only used by graduates / And who wish they were #GrammarDay — Nick McRae (@Nick_McRae_) March 3, 2014

Neutral third-person singular pronoun: I hope someday we’ll find them. #GrammarDay #haiku — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) March 3, 2014

Editors are right And we think you’re kind of dumb Seems we can’t help it #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

@Mazarkis_W Also, do not use prophesy (verb) when you mean prophecy (noun). That one drives me nuts. #grammarday — Elspeth Cooper (@ElspethCooper) March 3, 2014

Some punctuation looks angry in texts, said Tom periodically. #GrammarDay #haiku — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) March 3, 2014

Language changes But “healthy” versus “healthful” I cannot abide #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

The ultimate truth / the comma is optional / periods are not #GrammarDay — Nick McRae (@Nick_McRae_) March 3, 2014

AP style is wrong No serial comma! What? Always follow Chicago #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

Ok, here’s my final grammar day haiku: Grammar mistakes are fine / if you are an editor and / rely on them for a living #GrammarDay — Amanda (@operarose) March 3, 2014

The mighty em-dash— It’s 6–8 times bolder Than the hyphen. #grammarday #haiku — Ranjit Bhatnagar (@ranjit) March 3, 2014

In dark moments when we’re anti-grammar, you and I are still pro-nouns. #grammarday #haiku — Holly Ashworth (@ActuallyHolly) March 3, 2014

For attorneys @BryanAGarner is god Write in plain English #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

The ultimate truth / the comma is optional / two times out of three #GrammarDay — Nick McRae (@Nick_McRae_) March 3, 2014

@EditorMark @VisualThesaurus #grammarday Using em dashes can cause an interesting juxtaposition — Winking Owl Writing (@The_Winking_Owl) March 3, 2014

there is a word / they are often misspelling / in their English sentences #grammarday #GrammarHaiku — Amanda (@operarose) March 3, 2014

Grocer has gone mad His sign says apples own all Unnecessary #grammarday — Alison (@mitzy247) March 3, 2014

Oh you passive voice Strunk and White were black and white But sometimes you fit #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

The usage of yore / would heighten the confusion / of one great problem #GrammarDay — Nick McRae (@Nick_McRae_) March 3, 2014

@EditorMark @MandiMLindner Oh, I see that your excepting tweets in honor of grammar heirs, ha #grammarday — William (@MiltownBucky) March 3, 2014

Style is a ‘mine’ field: You may have your grammar views, But I prefer mine. #grammarday — Brendan O’Brien (@Brendano7) March 3, 2014

Oxford comma / Do not let them destroy you / you help me out #grammarday #GrammarHaiku — Amanda (@operarose) March 3, 2014

The English add ‘u’ in ‘colour’ — but how do they explain ‘manoeuvre’? #GrammarDay #spelling — Larry Kunz (@larry_kunz) March 3, 2014

#grammarday It’s “pundit,” stupid Not political “pundant” “Accepted,” my ass! @EditorMark #haiku #NationalGrammarDay — Consolidated News (@ConsolidatedNws) March 3, 2014

Do not hyphenate -ly adverbs because it is so very wrong! #grammarday — Lex Hex (@Tingwall) March 3, 2014

.@EditorMark @GrammarGirl Prepositions are Flexible, which some people Must come to terms with. #grammarday #haiku — Anna Fruen (@Thiefree) March 3, 2014

@EditorMark Bring back the hyphen Is it old school-teacher Or old-school teacher #grammarday — leslie (@crookedstamper) March 3, 2014

.@EditorMark @GrammarGirl Prepositions are Flexible, which some people Must come to terms with. #grammarday #haiku — Anna Fruen (@Thiefree) March 3, 2014

#grammarday Haiku: Oh, Apostrophe Why do they misuse you so? You are possessive. @EditorMark @GrammarGirl — Tim Johnson (@TimRelates) March 3, 2014

Do not use effect When you mean to use affect It is contagious #grammarday — Mazarkis Williams (@Mazarkis_W) March 3, 2014

Coma and comma. / One might signify the end, / the other a pause. #grammarday — Karen S. Conlin (@GramrgednAngel) March 3, 2014

A flurry of words, swirling, then coating the page— Compact, pure, fleeting. #grammarday — Jill Golden (@_goldengrams) March 3, 2014

grammar is very/important in all our lives/their, there, they’re, people!! #grammarday @MichLampinen — Maura McLaughlin (@distressingdame) March 3, 2014

@EditorMark @GrammarGirl #grammarday haiku: Twitter should exempt // the Oxford comma from all // character limits — Jessica (@JessicaGoldstei) March 3, 2014

Some punctuation looks angry in texts, said Tom periodically. — @MsKFlax #GrammarDay #haiku #tomswifty http://t.co/1hZCEdbTLI — Mark Allen (@FakeEditorMark) March 3, 2014

The Alphabet King Was composed only of glyphs — A man of letters. #GrammarDay — Mededitor (@Mededitor) March 3, 2014

“Chester drawer’s for sell. Can sale with matching armwore.” Craigslist makes me cringe. #grammarday #haiku — Shauna (@shaunarum) March 3, 2014

Punctuation needs To be more important than The Kardashians #GrammarDay @copyeditors — marducey (@marducey) March 3, 2014

Ignored, forsaken, she deserves better. All hail the apostrophe! #grammarday — Sara Rosinsky (@SaraRosinsky) March 3, 2014

You can call me Al, But please omit me when you Think ‘publically’. #grammarday — Brendan O’Brien (@Brendano7) March 3, 2014

The comma splice, it’s Not all wrong, never stopping Lacks composure though #GrammarDay #haiku — Ed Latham (@EdLatham) March 3, 2014

Classy I will be Staying, signed by the world’s most Intransitive man #grammarday — Vince Tuss (@vtuss) March 3, 2014

Serial comma Hyphen, em dash or en Grammar unites us #GrammarDay — Gramar Guy (@gramarguy) March 3, 2014

I wrote #haiku for my biggest #grammar pet peeves in honor of National #GrammarDay: http://t.co/bf7Ucn28CX — Jennifer Barbour (@anotherjenb) March 3, 2014

Writing speaks volumes Without uttering a word Read before you send #GrammarDay — Nancy Kniskern (@nanidesigns) March 3, 2014

My words, like branches, Fall as I prune my own prose: #GrammarDay selfie — Gord Roberts (@GordinaryWords) March 3, 2014

commatose writer in last colon cancer stage comes to his full stop. #GrammarDay — Houda Andalus Cheikh (@andaluslouisa) March 3, 2014

Use of Comic Sans You cannot be serious The font should be banned #grammarday #haiku — Jennifer Barbour (@anotherjenb) March 2, 2014

Exclamation points How excited can you be? Just one should suffice #grammarday #haiku — Jennifer Barbour (@anotherjenb) March 2, 2014

No typewriters here One space after period Is the way to go #grammarday #haiku — Jennifer Barbour (@anotherjenb) March 2, 2014

A million retweets Ellen wins the Internet. Whither the subjunctive? #grammarday #haiku #Oscars https://t.co/xNgqVWiSha — Mark Allen (@EditorMark) March 2, 2014

If I were in a subjunctive mood, I would wish I were in Bali. #grammarday #haiku #sickofwinter — Shauna (@shaunarum) March 2, 2014

Sociolinguist – / Deep In wild wordy woods of / Decay and rebirth #grammarday #haiku — Robert Keim (@RobKeim) March 2, 2014

Editors around the world have many more than forty words for “Phew!” #grammarday #haiku — Stan Carey (@StanCarey) March 3, 2014

An ode to grammar i before e except when spell check is broke #grammarday — Gramar Guy (@gramarguy) March 3, 2014

#GrammarDay #haiku / tweeted after noon Eastern / missed the deadline. Whoosh. http://t.co/4tnKuuAlQg #NodToDouglasAdams — Dawn McIlvain Stahl (@PurplePenning) March 3, 2014

“Kiss my assonance” Vowel mouthed, but Consonant Kept calm and kicked it. #grammarday — J. Tullius (@BearingFardels) March 2, 2014

Use “lie,” “lay?” just grab an object and “lay” away #grammarday — Ann McClure (@AnnMcC) March 2, 2014

dangling from a thread she screamed as the spider dropped landing on her head #haiku #proseperils #grammarday — madbeyond (@madbeyond) March 2, 2014

Pedantry? Not so! Revel in silliness through Punctiliousness #grammarday. — Lucia M. Flevares (@Lucia_Flevares) March 2, 2014

Write it right, rewrite, Wring its rot, and wright it wrought, Edit and end it. #grammarday — Jonathan Feist (@jonathanfeist) March 2, 2014

Let us eat grandma That is not how we do things You need a comma #grammarday — John Tilford (@johntilford) March 2, 2014

Oh apostrophe How I wish others knew you are Possessive not plural #grammarday — Eliza Edgar (@ElizaEdgar) March 2, 2014

Pedantic perhaps, But I just can’t help myself, On-line grammar judge. #GrammarDay — Jessica E Bowen (@apgopoteacher) March 2, 2014

Need another way / to say “pastry”? Just go ask / a synonym roll. #grammarhaikus #grammarday #ACESchat — zainah usman (@zttached) March 2, 2014

Hey, net commenters / who omit apostrophes: / your an idiot. #grammarhaikus #grammarday #ACESchat — zainah usman (@zttached) March 2, 2014

I think that sometimes / a preposition is a / nice word to end with. #ACESchat #GrammarDay #haiku — Daniel J. Dombrowski (@OCG_Dan) March 2, 2014

Scratch a grammarian Reveal a first-born child A lover of rules #GrammarDay — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) March 2, 2014

Don’t be afraid, it’s Not the end yet; it’s only A semicolon #GrammarDay #haiku — Ed Latham (@EdLatham) March 2, 2014

Contest called haiku but accepts irregular verses–what the hell #GrammarDay — John McIntyre (@johnemcintyre) March 1, 2014

@madbeyond function over form the thought’s what counts (isn’t it) compromise syntax #grammarday #haiku — Nina V (@_Nina_V) March 1, 2014

words are evolving language is a teenager grammar is old school #grammarday #haiku — madbeyond (@madbeyond) March 1, 2014

Between you and I, sometimes it’s just too easy to taunt the peevers. #GrammarDay — John McIntyre (@johnemcintyre) March 1, 2014

Too, many, commas, Converts, the, flow, to, stop, and, go. Eliminate them! #GrammarDay — Naomi Karten (@NaomiKarten) March 1, 2014

Errors if long-lived will tend in time to become the standard grammar #GrammarDay — John McIntyre (@johnemcintyre) March 1, 2014

@MsKFlax @EditorMark In Scandinavia Where equality matters “Hen” was invented http://t.co/mroNVsHGDp #GrammarDay #haiku — Game of Haikus (@Val_Enderson) March 1, 2014

Beneath my conscience Languages start making sense Now I must know why #haiku #linguistics #GrammarDay http://t.co/qBFYSKiemr — Game of Haikus (@Val_Enderson) March 1, 2014

Ranting and writing On and on I cut and cut Down to seventeen #GrammarDay #haiku — Game of Haikus (@Val_Enderson) March 1, 2014

Dreamy ellipsis three little dots unfettered and floating away… #GrammarDay — Lisa Cherrett (@LCherrett) March 1, 2014

Neutral third-person singular pronoun: I hope someday we’ll find them. #GrammarDay #haiku (cc: @EditorMark) — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) March 1, 2014

Do not attempt a semicolonoscopy. Ask an editor. #GrammarDay — John McIntyre (@johnemcintyre) March 1, 2014

The proofer’s lament: Readers can’t see your catches— only what you missed. #grammarday — Shauna (@shaunarum) March 1, 2014

Hesitating now… colon; a semi-colon? I’m never quite sure! #GrammarDay — Mike Bowman (@mkarney44fan) February 28, 2014

is bad text grammar to blame for my lonely nights? never gonna no.#GrammarDay — Miranda M. Boring (@MirandaMB3) February 28, 2014

Words crawl out of the primordial alphabet soup and don’t look back. #grammarday #haiku — Holly Ashworth (@ActuallyHolly) February 28, 2014

#sorrynotsorry For what I do to language Love, Twitter #sueme #grammarday #haiku — Ed Latham (@EdLatham) February 28, 2014

My names reflect me— My adjectives, verbs, adverbs; No so your pronouns. #grammarday #haiku #facebook — Will Fitzgerald (@willf) February 28, 2014

Today, let’s have no comma drama, no hyphen hate. Let’s just love words. #grammarday #haiku — Holly Ashworth (@ActuallyHolly) February 28, 2014

Grammar essentials go way back: school just refines the work of infants. #grammarday #haiku — Stan Carey (@StanCarey) February 28, 2014

Red pen to paper / Beautiful markings to me / Correctness is art. #grammarday #haiku — Holly Jones (@TheHollyJones) February 28, 2014

Editing yourself Is like cutting your own hair You will miss a bit #grammarday #haiku — Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) February 28, 2014

Editor’s motto: Be thorough, know your stuff, and above all, know when it’s OK to break the rules #grammarday #haiku — Holly Ashworth (@ActuallyHolly) February 28, 2014

Strunk and White would be the Bible in my desert island library. #grammarday — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) February 27, 2014

Fertile zeugma makes Meanings grow in two branches And the reader’s mind #grammarday #haiku — Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) February 27, 2014

Good advice from Grampa (he of the intrusive R): Obey your Grammar. #grammarday — Larry Kunz (@larry_kunz) February 27, 2014

Etymology Hints at a hidden truth: the Glamour of grammar. #grammarday #haiku — Stan Carey (@StanCarey) February 27, 2014

If you have free reign Trade your kingdom for a horse Rein homophones in #grammarday #haiku — Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) February 27, 2014

Birdseed scattered on melting snow. Ellipsis points between winter and spring. #GrammarDay — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) February 26, 2014

“Let’s eat Grandma!” “Let’s eat, Grandma!” ……. Use a comma, save a grandma. #GrammarDay — Shelbster⚡ (@shelbyt9) February 26, 2014

The comma pauses, The participle dangles The period ends. #GrammarDay — Gramar Guy (@gramarguy) February 26, 2014

Copy editors Are needless when you can just Publish and be dammed #grammarday #haiku — Tom Freeman (@SnoozeInBrief) February 26, 2014

Writing the haiku, the dangling participle sits there awkwardly. #GrammarDay — William Reagan (@WilliamReagan) February 26, 2014

A dash on the run, A comma in a coma And no questions asked? #GrammarDay — Jeff Goodman (@jeffgoodman2) February 26, 2014

Polar vortices have lovely Latin endings so why won’t they stop? #GrammarDay — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) February 26, 2014

My friends always say I am the grammar police I prefer “correct” #GrammarDay — Sara Fischer (@SaraFischerMPH) February 26, 2014

In the seventh grade, I diagrammed sentences. Yes, I am that old. #GrammarDay — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) February 25, 2014

Look up at the sky It’s raining semi-colons Must be grammar day! #GrammarDay — Michael Helfield (@MichaelHelfield) February 25, 2014

Dangling as it is, you will never understand my modifier. #GrammarDay — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) February 25, 2014

A #GrammarDay haiku: If you’re [sic] feeling Comes from errors in spelling, Take up editing. — Monica Monzingo (@mmonzingo) February 25, 2014

No comma splices Semicolons can help you Words drop like leaves. #GrammarDay — The Honorable Dennis (@den_down_unda) February 25, 2014

Judging by its book, Chicago must be the most stylish of cities http://t.co/vbPExAlDjD #grammarday — Julie Linden (@julieatlife) February 25, 2014

Low humor and hy- phenation: the work of Cole Porter or Perelman? #GrammarDay — Katherine Harper (@kharper42) February 25, 2014

Neutral third-person Singular pronoun: I hope Someday we’ll find them. #GrammarDay — Rachel Kamins (@MsKFlax) February 24, 2014

(This entry is about punctuation, not grammar.) The apostrophe wanders. Lost, stumbling. Its seeking it’s proper place. #grammarday — Julie Linden (@julieatlife)